Thursday, 19 November 2015

I'm a Writer - 20th blog post

So this is my 20th blog post. When I started doing this, it was just an outlet for me to write. To have a say about the things I felt passionately about or wanted to rant about, outside of commenting and combating online. I still do that by the way. If the situation requires it.

I've kept a journal since I was 13. I have a box of them stashed away somewhere. Those pages have witnessed all the turmoil I felt growing up as well as all the things that inspired and motivated me. There was a time when I would have been mortified for anyone to read my diaries, but now I think I'd have a new perspective on them. I should start publishing random pages. That would be bloody hilarious. You can't make that kind of stuff up. It's gold! (That will never happen by the way....NEVER.)

10 years ago - give or take - I started writing a book. A novel. It's about a woman and a whole bunch of stuff that happens to her. Partly informed by my own experiences, mostly made up. It's a bit idealistic and sometimes overly dramatic and mostly just interesting; to me anyway. It has taken me ages because life is very time consuming and motivation is fickle. Then I did a Gunna's writing masterclass with Catherine Deveny and everything changed. Mind you, I was three weeks short of giving birth to my first baby so everything really did change shortly after, but this class made me see myself as a writer. Whether or not I was getting paid, despite what I wrote about. It was as she says 'a creative enema'.

So I picked up where I left off with the book and started to see the end. When you start writing something; actually start not just think about it and then when you can see how it will end; the middle takes care of itself. I'm not finished yet; it's finished in my head, but I still have to get it all out. I'll get there, I'm in no hurry. I'm certainly not going to 'die with my music inside me.' Thanks Catherine.

This blog is a tool for me to pursue writing and it got me through the birth and early rearing of my kids, especially when I had the twins. The piece I wrote for multiple birth awareness week was one of my most rewarding. Slowly my purpose has grown and when something moves me and an idea comes together, with practice I am finding it easier to articulate myself. I'm also learning as I go about how this online world works. My blog still has no advertising and I haven't consolidated myself on social media, but I'm a baby step kind of person. I can't bite off more than I can chew. I need to take tiny bites and enjoy and savor every morsel. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, which is sometimes my biggest downfall. 'Perfect is the enemy of good'. I'm quoting CD again.

In the last month I have started writing for You can find my articles here. They actually pay me. It's not that much, but it's not about the money. It's about learning more and the editorial help they provide is really valuable. Plus, I'm actually building some experience and my motivation is soaring. I'm a published and paid writer. Another baby step conquered. 

I don't care for fame and fortune. I don't care if people don't bother reading or sharing my work. I don't care if nobody engages. I don't care if people disagree or agree. I don't care for competing. I don't care for a standard or an expectation or a definition of who others think I am or what they think I am doing. I don't care. I am a published and paid writer. End of story. Well no's just the beginning.