My friends and I used to take selfies in high school in the 90s, before digital cameras. We'd hold the camera out at arms length and point it towards our faces and click. Then we'd have to wait until we'd used up the whole roll of film (35mm) and get the thing developed, hoping for the best outcome. Sometimes it was blurry, or I'd close my eyes or roll them back. These days we have no such dilemma. We point and click with our phones and the results are instant. If the photo is 'ugly', we delete it and do it again and again and again until we're happy with it. Same goes for any picture for that matter. A group shot, the scenery. If it's not up to scratch, we can correct it. Is this reality? Or is it edited, enhanced pretense?
Of course this luxury is advantageous, we can create beautiful images, perfect moments, wonderful memories, but what have we lost in the process. Spontaneity, authenticity, heck even comedy.
Sometimes selfies do go wrong, a quick google search of funny selfies or selfies gone wrong will illuminate my point. I have to say, this one is my all time favourite.
With the digital age has come a narcissism so intense, that the desire to look perfect in a photo has surpassed any notion of what beauty actually is in real life. Sorry I'm distracted, I can't stop looking at the turd in the photo above and I can't help wondering where the toilet paper is, didn't she wipe her arse?
The reality is that anyone can look amazing in a photo with the right lighting, angles, make up and technique and sometimes the photos we hate of ourselves caught off guard, upon future examination become a beautiful rendition of a moment in time in our lives. Has that happened to anyone before? It has certainly happened to me. I'm not the kind of person that aims for perfection in photographs especially if they are of myself, I don't pose unless I'm taking the piss. I want to capture what I'm doing and how I'm feeling in that moment. Mostly I take photos when I am doing something that I want to remember. A lunch with family, an outing with my husband and baby, an event I'm attending or just something I see that I think is beautiful that I want to capture, something I know I will want to remember, something that has a story attached to it. Very often when I see pictures of myself, I hate them initially. Especially if someone else has taken the picture. I may be standing at a weird angle and my body looks out of proportion. My face isn't symmetrical and certain angles make me look completely hideous. Often however, when I look at that same picture months or years down the track, I don't see the imperfections anymore. I see a younger self, someone who is smiling genuinely because I can never pose in a picture and I remember that I was doing something I loved and having a good time. I used to be embarrassed by photos when I was young, now I look back and think what a self conscious kid I was and for no good reason. The pictures have captured happy memories, mostly. Sometimes I just had the shits and those moments are clear as day as well.
So is it only a question of perception? Do we judge what we see in a photo or in the mirror only by what our brain has been programmed to think is beautiful? That could be an unanswerable philosophical question, but there has to be some influence on what we value as attractive from the images and value systems that surround us. For example if every woman on television is thin, has ghd curls and fake eye lashes, is pouting and has her hand on her hip to look more symmetrical and in proportion, doesn't that become the standard by which we measure ourselves by? With advertising companies bombarding us with images, particularly of women, that have been digitally manipulated - sometimes slightly retouched, sometimes completely altered - does our brain become programmed subconsciously to think that anything outside that idea of perfection is ugly or wrong; despite how completely unattainable it is. In some of these images, necks are lengthened, eyes widened and moved further apart, hair lines lifted, blemishes and lines removed, teeth whitened, skin lightened. Dove have created an amazing video highlighting this reality.
It seems that people these days judge their appearance based on what they see in a photograph or video not what they look like in the mirror or what they look like to others around them, at least those who know and love them and whose opinion of them actually counts. They are not even considering their relationship with themselves when they look at their own reflection or their relationship with others like the person taking the picture or the people in the photo with them, they are looking at the face as an object instead of a subject; measuring and considering its parts individually and independently of each other. Are the eyes wide; are the lips pouty; is the skin smooth. They are not analysing what is behind the eyes or what story the face as a whole is telling. You can smile and pout all you want, but if you are miserable, it is obvious. You can be caught off guard with your eyes rolling back in your head and a stupid shape to your mouth; but if you're blissfully happy, you look it.
With the prevalence of social media and the instantaneous way with which we post self images online, for some people it is becoming more important to look good in a photo than in real life. This brings me to the obsession with erasing lines. We know all too well the claims that cosmetic companies make about creams that are age defying. There's always someone in a lab coat telling us about a new scientific advance that will retard or reverse the process of aging. Nonsense. There is absolutely no scientific (real science, not pseudo science) evidence anywhere that proves that this is true.
However, these days there are more dramatic ways to iron out our faces short of surgery. Injectables. These do work. They reach the nerves to the muscles to stop them from contracting, which erases and prevents wrinkles. It is temporary. I don't know what that means long term with regular use, I'd be interested to see some studies about the long term effects of this procedure. This study looks at the use of botox on children with cerebral palsy in their lower limbs to limit spasticity. It appears that they needed several injections to make a difference, but not too many otherwise there was no benefit. I wonder if it is the same with its use cosmetically. This article in the UK's Daily Mail talks about the possible risks and these articles in the British Medical Journal bring up some great points about the fact that the 'botox industry' is not well regulated, so although you can find high quality practitioners who know what they are doing, inexperienced and misinformed individuals can get access to the substances and equipment quite easily and hold what are commonly referred to as 'botox parties' where shit can go wrong. There are also concerns about these cosmetic treatments being unlawfully tested on animals.
I recently saw the movie Gravity with Sandra Bullock. I love her, she's such an amazing actress, but her face put me off in this movie. She played such a beautiful, heart wrenching, emotional, thought provoking character who found herself in an impossible situation; one that no ordinary human can even begin to comprehend the enormity of - she was out of this world, literally; BUT SHE COULDN'T MOVE HER FACE! I could see the effort; I could see her eyes forcing themselves to convey her emotions, I could feel the expression and the sentiment, BUT HER FACE!! It was literally frozen. All the feelings were behind a mask, bursting to come out, trapped, their only outlet her eyes, hidden behind muscles that were no longer allowed to function. I'm gobsmacked an actress would do that to herself. And there are so many others. Nicole Kidman in Baz Luhrmann's Australia was another one - amazing film, brilliant cinematography, but all I could focus on was her bloody forehead and her lips, which kept distorting in volume in various scenes. It gave it away that they didn't shoot the thing in sequence that's for sure.
I've always wondered why all the beautiful actresses go nuts with the botox. I remember the first time I saw Courtney Cox on Family Ties. I cut out a picture of her from a magazine because I thought she was the most beautiful actress I'd ever seen. I remember thinking to myself that she was going to be huge and I was right. She was stunning on Friends. Seen her lately? What the hell happened?
I'm not judging her. I reckon there is plenty of pressure on women to stay young and 'relevant' in certain industries; I'm not blaming the victim, I'm demonstrating the result of what the Dove exercise produces. She was gorgeous, lines and dimples and crows feet and all. Now she looks like a fucking lion whose been smacked in the mouth. She looks like she's in pain. It pisses me off a bit. I feel angry on her behalf. She didn't need to be corrected so extremely.
Now I don't want to ignore the hypocrisy I feel creeping in. I dye my hair. I must admit, I'm too lazy to do it often these days and am embracing my grey hair. I've never had it coloured at the hairdresser, I do it myself. When I was young I dyed it for fun, just to change the colour and style. These days it is to cover the grey and because the store bought stuff nowadays is ammonia free and full of lovely oils that work as a treatment. I love how my hair feels when I have just coloured it, even though I miss bits underneath because I do it myself and can't justify buying two packets for coverage. I can't reach or see the underneath bits anyway. But at least the top bits look nice. I'm really not that serious about perfecting it, it's just an illusion - smoke and mirrors.
The irony and inequity hasn't escaped me. My husband whose silvering hair (especially since he's met me - coincidence?) is increasing, wouldn't dream of colouring his hair. I know some men do it, but most don't. It is acceptable. It is seen as distinguished. Aging on a man is ok. It demonstrates maturity, wisdom, wealth. Brings to mind that stupid Budget Insurance ad where the man looks twice the age of his partner who he patronising calls 'love' because her French accent prevents her from pronouncing the word Budget correctly. She's naked in the shower, he's shaving in the mirror, fully clothed. It's normalised to see a man much older than his younger partner. If it was reversed she would be branded a cougar. Which brings me right back to Courtney Cox. I would have been more impressed with her new TV show Cougar Town if she'd let her hair go grey, kept her lines and aged gracefully and still got laid with younger men.
It's time to rethink why we take pictures, what is the purpose? What are we saying when we put a photo of ourselves up on the internet? Are we sharing a moment in our lives, genuinely or are we representing ourselves as an image, an inanimate object?
Here's a fun exercise. Pick a friend on Facebook and go to their photos. How many facial expressions can you count on their faces? Is it the same smile over and over again in every situation or do they sometimes look surprised, puzzled, bored, happy, deep in thought, cranky, drunk, distracted, jubilant, neutral....
Don't judge! Just observe and tell every one you love that they are beautiful once in a while. And look at yourself in the mirror often. Look deep into your eyes, smile at yourself and say it out loud....."I FUCKEN LOVE YOU! "
So is it only a question of perception? Do we judge what we see in a photo or in the mirror only by what our brain has been programmed to think is beautiful? That could be an unanswerable philosophical question, but there has to be some influence on what we value as attractive from the images and value systems that surround us. For example if every woman on television is thin, has ghd curls and fake eye lashes, is pouting and has her hand on her hip to look more symmetrical and in proportion, doesn't that become the standard by which we measure ourselves by? With advertising companies bombarding us with images, particularly of women, that have been digitally manipulated - sometimes slightly retouched, sometimes completely altered - does our brain become programmed subconsciously to think that anything outside that idea of perfection is ugly or wrong; despite how completely unattainable it is. In some of these images, necks are lengthened, eyes widened and moved further apart, hair lines lifted, blemishes and lines removed, teeth whitened, skin lightened. Dove have created an amazing video highlighting this reality.
It seems that people these days judge their appearance based on what they see in a photograph or video not what they look like in the mirror or what they look like to others around them, at least those who know and love them and whose opinion of them actually counts. They are not even considering their relationship with themselves when they look at their own reflection or their relationship with others like the person taking the picture or the people in the photo with them, they are looking at the face as an object instead of a subject; measuring and considering its parts individually and independently of each other. Are the eyes wide; are the lips pouty; is the skin smooth. They are not analysing what is behind the eyes or what story the face as a whole is telling. You can smile and pout all you want, but if you are miserable, it is obvious. You can be caught off guard with your eyes rolling back in your head and a stupid shape to your mouth; but if you're blissfully happy, you look it.
With the prevalence of social media and the instantaneous way with which we post self images online, for some people it is becoming more important to look good in a photo than in real life. This brings me to the obsession with erasing lines. We know all too well the claims that cosmetic companies make about creams that are age defying. There's always someone in a lab coat telling us about a new scientific advance that will retard or reverse the process of aging. Nonsense. There is absolutely no scientific (real science, not pseudo science) evidence anywhere that proves that this is true.
However, these days there are more dramatic ways to iron out our faces short of surgery. Injectables. These do work. They reach the nerves to the muscles to stop them from contracting, which erases and prevents wrinkles. It is temporary. I don't know what that means long term with regular use, I'd be interested to see some studies about the long term effects of this procedure. This study looks at the use of botox on children with cerebral palsy in their lower limbs to limit spasticity. It appears that they needed several injections to make a difference, but not too many otherwise there was no benefit. I wonder if it is the same with its use cosmetically. This article in the UK's Daily Mail talks about the possible risks and these articles in the British Medical Journal bring up some great points about the fact that the 'botox industry' is not well regulated, so although you can find high quality practitioners who know what they are doing, inexperienced and misinformed individuals can get access to the substances and equipment quite easily and hold what are commonly referred to as 'botox parties' where shit can go wrong. There are also concerns about these cosmetic treatments being unlawfully tested on animals.
I recently saw the movie Gravity with Sandra Bullock. I love her, she's such an amazing actress, but her face put me off in this movie. She played such a beautiful, heart wrenching, emotional, thought provoking character who found herself in an impossible situation; one that no ordinary human can even begin to comprehend the enormity of - she was out of this world, literally; BUT SHE COULDN'T MOVE HER FACE! I could see the effort; I could see her eyes forcing themselves to convey her emotions, I could feel the expression and the sentiment, BUT HER FACE!! It was literally frozen. All the feelings were behind a mask, bursting to come out, trapped, their only outlet her eyes, hidden behind muscles that were no longer allowed to function. I'm gobsmacked an actress would do that to herself. And there are so many others. Nicole Kidman in Baz Luhrmann's Australia was another one - amazing film, brilliant cinematography, but all I could focus on was her bloody forehead and her lips, which kept distorting in volume in various scenes. It gave it away that they didn't shoot the thing in sequence that's for sure.
I've always wondered why all the beautiful actresses go nuts with the botox. I remember the first time I saw Courtney Cox on Family Ties. I cut out a picture of her from a magazine because I thought she was the most beautiful actress I'd ever seen. I remember thinking to myself that she was going to be huge and I was right. She was stunning on Friends. Seen her lately? What the hell happened?
I'm not judging her. I reckon there is plenty of pressure on women to stay young and 'relevant' in certain industries; I'm not blaming the victim, I'm demonstrating the result of what the Dove exercise produces. She was gorgeous, lines and dimples and crows feet and all. Now she looks like a fucking lion whose been smacked in the mouth. She looks like she's in pain. It pisses me off a bit. I feel angry on her behalf. She didn't need to be corrected so extremely.
Now I don't want to ignore the hypocrisy I feel creeping in. I dye my hair. I must admit, I'm too lazy to do it often these days and am embracing my grey hair. I've never had it coloured at the hairdresser, I do it myself. When I was young I dyed it for fun, just to change the colour and style. These days it is to cover the grey and because the store bought stuff nowadays is ammonia free and full of lovely oils that work as a treatment. I love how my hair feels when I have just coloured it, even though I miss bits underneath because I do it myself and can't justify buying two packets for coverage. I can't reach or see the underneath bits anyway. But at least the top bits look nice. I'm really not that serious about perfecting it, it's just an illusion - smoke and mirrors.
The irony and inequity hasn't escaped me. My husband whose silvering hair (especially since he's met me - coincidence?) is increasing, wouldn't dream of colouring his hair. I know some men do it, but most don't. It is acceptable. It is seen as distinguished. Aging on a man is ok. It demonstrates maturity, wisdom, wealth. Brings to mind that stupid Budget Insurance ad where the man looks twice the age of his partner who he patronising calls 'love' because her French accent prevents her from pronouncing the word Budget correctly. She's naked in the shower, he's shaving in the mirror, fully clothed. It's normalised to see a man much older than his younger partner. If it was reversed she would be branded a cougar. Which brings me right back to Courtney Cox. I would have been more impressed with her new TV show Cougar Town if she'd let her hair go grey, kept her lines and aged gracefully and still got laid with younger men.
It's time to rethink why we take pictures, what is the purpose? What are we saying when we put a photo of ourselves up on the internet? Are we sharing a moment in our lives, genuinely or are we representing ourselves as an image, an inanimate object?
Here's a fun exercise. Pick a friend on Facebook and go to their photos. How many facial expressions can you count on their faces? Is it the same smile over and over again in every situation or do they sometimes look surprised, puzzled, bored, happy, deep in thought, cranky, drunk, distracted, jubilant, neutral....
Don't judge! Just observe and tell every one you love that they are beautiful once in a while. And look at yourself in the mirror often. Look deep into your eyes, smile at yourself and say it out loud....."I FUCKEN LOVE YOU! "
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